The Day my Eyes Turned Red | movedon's Blog

It was a really frustrating day - the day when I found out, I am really damn stupid to be alive.

Everyone tries his very best to please the people that expect so much on them. I myself had trouble living the life that my family and friends think I should have. I tried and tried but ended up failing. I know some of you also had experiences and fell down from these, a lot of times now. But I guess that's how life should be, if falling down means standing up again then we should learn from our mistakes and accept the fact that we are just humans, we have limits.

Even though we were not able to reach a certain goal, in our studies, relationships and other matters, we should always bear in our minds that life takes time. If the first try didn't work, you always have a second chance.

I cried a lot of times, and eventually realized that these things happen for a reason. God would not let us face problems if we can not surpass and solve them. One of the most painful experiences I had was when I thought I already love that person, but ended up losing my ideal self - I lost my virginity when I was only 15. And I still regret it up to now.. I realized that what I did was way beyond my parent's expectations - for a lot of people see me as a well-behaved person. But I guess, I let them down.

I am still in the process of recovering from my own wrong doings.. But everytime I reminisce and think of these things, I see my eyes turning red again.

Let us be strong! I know that after all of this, I can properly and proudly say that I have moved on from my own selfish actions.